Bye Bye Birdie

It was beautiful! But since I'm a fan of details and the chronological order of things, I'm going to walk you through the entire process.

Minus 7 Days
Research, research, research. I'm not kidding when I say that Google was a good friend. My first decision was fresh or frozen.

Minus 4 Days
I bought fresh because it was on sale. It sat happy in the fridge until further notice.

Minus 3 Days
Eventually, I came across Good Eat's Alton Brown and his brining method. Yeah, brining? Had never heard of this term until after I bought my turkey. Who knew this bird cooking world was so complicated??

Minus 2 Days
Being caught up in how to make the turkey taste good, I forgot that I would need some sort of device to cook the bird in. With a mass e-mail sent to WEW, I was able to borrow a roasting pan with rack and a thermometer probe from Tiffo. (Thanks, Tiff!)

Next, I decided I wasn't going to buy allspice if I was never going to use it again, nor candied ginger (though I did purchase powdered ginger). I bought everything else between Trader Joe's, Safeway, and Berkeley Bowl - except salt. How could the TJ and SW not have kosher salt? The leading grocery stores! Oh, the horror. I even looked in the pantry at church - no kosher salt. So what's a woman to do? This one called KevinNish and got her some kosher salt. (Thanks, Kevin!)

Then, I made my brine mixture in the largest pot I could find. It was too difficult to hold the bottles of spice, the measuring spoons, and not make a mess I'd have to clean up so I just "eyeballed" everything. I like a clean kitchen. But the ginger started to smell really strong so I added more peppercorn. At this point, Mr. Woo said it was smelling good, so I shrugged off my unwillingness to be precise and kept going.

Minus 1 day

Thinking about sticking my hand in the turkey's cavity made me feel yucky so I asked my brave knight Sir Woo to get the neck and giblets out of the freezing cold turkey. That was another funny and new word to me: giblets. I'm glad they packed in nicely in a bag to make the search easier. Next came the actual process of brining. I finally made the decision to not use an oven bag when cooking. It did serve a grand purpose in keeping the bird sitting happy in the brine. It's not a good idea to use a trash bag in preparing food as there are chemicals and other harmful materials that you probably don't want contaminating your hard work. I did line a sturdy box with a plastic bag before I lovingly placed my plucked and oven-bagged friend into it. Problem: the brine was causing the bag to "go flat." I grabbed all the root beer bottles that I had used as decoration in the study room to prop up the liquid so that there would be as much submerging as possible. Back to the fridge it went for 15 hours, flipped (and bottles rearranged) half way.

Mrs. Woo: Wish us well!
Mr. Woo: "Us?"
Mrs. Woo: The turkey and me!
Mr. Woo: Oh. (looking at the turkey) Hang in there, buddy... tap, tap.

 
D-Day
About three hours before guests were to arrive, I excitedly urged Mr. Woo into the kitchen to take out our friend so that we could rinse he/she off. After being patted dry, I tossed in some coarsely diced onions. That's when I found out that the cavity inside is actually smaller than I thought. Since we don't have a microwave, I heated up my aromatics in a sauce pan for a couple minutes on medium heat before adding it to the onions. Then some sage, rosemary, a couple of cinnamon sticks. We liberally rubbed the turkey with some olive oil, made our "turkey triangle" (a sheet of foil constructed to prevent the breast meat from drying out), freshly ground some peppercorn on top for aesthetics, and spent several minutes trying to tuck in the wings. To keep the smoking to a minimum (and hoping for a non-existant) I added a few cups of water to the bottom of the pan, and into the 500oF oven it went for 30 minutes. Then in went the thermometer probe into the center of the breast meat (thank you, Mr. Woo!), and down to 350oF until "the fat turkey thermometer sings" at 161oF. It rested for about 45 minutes, cooked a little longer while doing so, and turned out beautifully!

While it was cooking, I had time to make another turkey and appetizer.

Wait, that's not how it should look. It's supposed to look like this (see if you can spot the difference):

It was my first time cooking a turkey, and Mr. Woo's first time carving. (While I was YouTubing videos from Good Eats, Mr. Woo was watching people teach how to carve!) He did a fantastic job. (With the first incision juices flowed out - super moist.) Jaffrey did help speed the process, but we were waiting for the potatoes anyway.

We had 14 happily munching people in our living room. I wish I could have talked more with our guests, but it seemed like my attention was needed elsewhere often.

Feel free to come over again, and we'll have a more intimate dinner then. Thanks for joining us for our very first Thanksgiving as a married couple! We're glad that you had a place to celebrate and give thanks.:)

Yum.

After a quick vacuum, scrub of the floors, brush off the tablecloth, and finish the last dishes, all 3 Woo's headed out to visit my parents. We ate BBQ ribs (which made 3 days in a row) and galbi; I did my Black Friday shopping at 5am; and came back home Saturday afternoon in preparation for Sunday worship. Whew! Exhausted? Yeah. Fun? Yeah. :)

Mary, Martha, and Turkey

Boy, I like Google. It's helped this first-time hosting, first Thanksgiving turkey experience go rather well - from the logistical point of view. I had my 5-day plan and grocery list ready to go for this one meal, just like I would my Black Friday plans. Too bad it's become an idol.

I've gotten so caught up in trying to make the "perfect" turkey that I've pushed aside important responsibilities, especially spending time with the Lord. Rather than cultivating a hospitable heart, I've brewed up a prideful one. Opening up our home wasn't a bad thing, but I lost sight that being hospitable doesn't mean perfect food. It was about my attitude.When I realized this, I thought of Mary and Martha.

"Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."" -Luke 10:38-42

While discussing with Mr. Woo today, he pointed out a detail that I had overlooked. Martha, in all her business, got frustrated/mad when asking that Mary help. That's me too! In the heat of an argument, I not-so-secretly got frustrated that Mr. Woo wasn't going to cook anything. Ugh, I'm so wicked. My poor husband...

BUT with God's overflowing grace and the help of my patient husband, I'm once again sitting at the Lord's feet to listen. Please pray for me in the days to come that I would be reminded to sit and listen, so that when I prepare for Thursday's dinner, I would do so with a humble, hospitable, loving heart. :)

Tips on How To Cook A Turkey, from Mrs. Woo's 3rd graders

We're opening our place to those who aren't able to go home this Thanksgiving. It's quite exciting as it'll be my first time hosting for a holiday. I'm even ambitious enough to cook a turkey for the first time!

For a variety of educational reasons I give my students an assignment titled How To Cook A Turkey around Thanksgiving time, in which they list the ingredients that they would need and then the directions to cooking the bird. It's fun to read what they come up with, and a very fortunate protocol that most home oven temperatures starts at 325oF. Read on to see why...

Student #1:
Heres how to cook a turkey.
First put the raw turkey in a oven 80oF and watie 5 minutes
next stuff the turkey.
third put the turkey on a plate.
Fainally cut the turkey
Mmmm you can eat the turkey now.

Student #2:
...Put the time 97oF. Then step away and don't touch the oven or you'll get burned!... 

  
Point taken - Set the correct temperature so that the FDA does not come knocking on our door.

Student #3: 
How to cook a juicy turckey. First you get a turckey. Next you make some sauce. Then put in sugar in the sauce and pore it on the turkey. Next you put on flour. Then you put it in the oven for 10oC and cook it for 2 and a half hours. While it's still cooking you get a platter and put lettus on the platter to make it look pretty. Then you get the tukey on the patter, but be careful. Last, but not least, put on a little bit of pepper on the tukey. Thats how you make a juicy turkey.  

Student #4: 
...Sixth put baisil on the plater around The turkey. Seventh put the rosemary on top of the turkey...

Point taken - Make it pretty and fragrant.

Student #5:
It is time to cook a turkey! First put ketcup and salt on the turkey. Then put peper and onion. Next put the turkey in the oven and time it to 369oF 2 hours. Finaly, get A cup of water. Have fun making more turkeys.

Student #6:
It is fun to make a turkey. First you put flour on the turky. Next you put powder. Then you put cream. Next you put ketchup. Then you put soy sause. Next you put it in the oven. You need to put it in the oven for 30 mins. Then you put some vechtables on the top of the turky. Next you eat it!

Student #7:
firs get a Pot! Next get boiling water. (!30)(mins) Then put the turkey in! finally cut it with a knife! last but not least set the table! HAVE FUN!

 
Point taken - It'll be fun. (But I am not making more than one!) 

Student #8:
It is easy to cook a turkey. First, set the temperature of the oven to 363oF and then stuff the turkey with the mashed potatoes and put it in the oven and set the timer for 6 hours. Next, wait until it's done. Then, spread extra virgin olive oil on it. After that, spread the alfredo sauce on the bread. Next, put the bread around the turkey. Then, put the gravy on the remaining mashed potatoes. Finally, eat it. If you put all your effort into cooking it then it will taste very good.

Student #9:
It is easy to make a turkey. First I get one turkey and cut of its head and pluck its feathers on hot. Next, I put it in the oven over 5 minutes and put them on for 2 minutes on medium. Then I get salad, and mushrooms. Then, I get a tasty drink of lemonade which is cool. Next, I get some plates, forks, knives, and caps. Finally, I have a wonderful time with friends.

Point taken - It'll be gross, wonderful, and easy. Note to self: "put all [my] effort into cooking it."

Psh, well I guess I have nothing to worry about. This is a road never personally traveled, so it's a big adventure for me. I'll keep you posted on what happens on Thursday.

What's the best tip you've received in cooking for the holidays?

It's raining, it's pouring...

Courtesy of my students + Rainy day (indoors) recess:

Oh, and insert 'haHAhahaHaHaAHahah' after each one...

What did the leopard say after it ate its owner? 
That hit the spot

What did the pig say when the farmer picked him up by the tail? 
That's the end of me.

What animal should you not take tests with?
A Cheetah

Seagulls are called seagulls because they fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay what would they be called? 
Bagels

What kind of side dies every second? 
Suicide

Student #1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Student #2: Oh, I know! The rooster was on vacation.
Student #3: ...No, the duck was on vacation.

I need air, but I'm allergic to water. What am I? 
Fire

There were 3 men on a boat. They were trying to catch a fish. A police boat saw them and crahsed into their boat. Two men got their hair wet; one did not. Why? 
He was bald.  (Initially, I needed clarification that it was three men and not people one because I thought one might have been a woman.)

Student: Mrs. Woo! How do you spell my last name? :D
Mrs. Woo: Your last name?
Student nods
Mrs. Woo: Y-o-u-r, space, l-a-s-t, space, n-a-m-e

 I've been through the 3rd grade, kiddos...

What was/is your favorite elementary school joke? :)

Whistle While You Work

I don't know about you, but I had a rough day at work today. Well, I suppose it wasn't so bad compared to last Friday when a teacher came up to me to ask if so-and-so, who did something terribly wrong, was in my class... at each recess... all different teachers. On top of that we had Girl A in my class tell Girl B's sister to steal something from her Girl B's backpack to give to Girl A so that she can give it to Girl C in the other 3rd grade class to give to Girl D, also in the other class, so that when Girl B asks Girl A if she took it she can say, "No, Girl D stole it." Smart, but so wicked. (You can download the image as a wallpaper here)

Yeah, today I just had a lengthy list of names on the board and sent 2 students out of the classroom to "talk all [they] want out there." And Mr. Woo brought me a heaping plate of lunch. :) Even one of my students commented, "Mr. Woo must really love you to bring you that much food!"

But for those of you who work in an office and don't get enough spice at work (not all of us get to have Nurf Wars), I stumbled across some tips to make work more "fun." I don't endorse all of the following, but let me know how it goes if you try any out!

ONE-POINT DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom. (Do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights." (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss.)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

A Dozen More Ways to Shake Things Up
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Don't use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
12) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

You're going to sound/look so crazy...

4Bucks' Love Project

Starbucks (aka 4Bucks because that's how much it costs for coffee) is currently holding a Love Project. If you make a $15 purchase, you will be gifted with the Starbucks Red Love CD featuring groups like Dave Matthews, U2, and more.  For each CD, $1 will be donated to help fight AIDS in Africa.

I moseyed on over to the gallery and got lured into making/drawing a picture myself (those sketching sound effects worked, Starbucks!). It was nice to draw a few hearts and write LOVE nice and pretty, but that's not how I view love. So I drew a cross and added the words patient and kind, but that's about all I could fit. I knew this wouldn't make sense to an unbeliever so I added 1 Cor. 13:4-7. Of course it didn't fit underneath my pretty swirls so I had to break it up. I wish I could show you this meaningful design but 4Bucks ripped me off again! They didn't save it! :(

After hearing the pen-on-paper sound effects some more, I created another drawing. This time I saved it myself. Good thing too, because the submit button got "stuck." Being computer illiterate, I didn't know what was wrong and called it a day. Here's my Mona Lisa:

Up close:

What is your interpretation of it? :)

Join the Woo's in giving thanks!

Just in case you didn't receive it, Mr. Woo sent out an e-mail to EBCBmail inviting y'all to join us for Thanksgiving if you will not be going home for the holidays. Here's what it said...

Hi family,

If you're not going home for this Thanksgiving, my wife and I are opening up our place to the church and would be delighted to have YOU over for dinner.  Here's the information:

Who:   You
What:  Thanksgiving Dinner
Where: The Woo's Residence - Transportation will be arranged later
When:  November 26th (time still to be determined)
Why:    To celebrate and thank the Lord for His faithfulness, to partake in an encouraging time of fellowship, to enjoy the rich blessing of delicious food in abundance, to have some relaxing fun with our brothers and sisters, and other stuff

This dinner will be potluck style, so start thinking about what you can bring to share with others.  Off the top of my head, it'd be nice to have a turkey (or two) with gravy + cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, candied yams, bad-for-your-health-but-so-tasty-in-your-mouth stuffing, refreshing apple cider, biscuits and rolls, hearty ribs, and many other things (I guess a vegetable would be healthy).  [Mrs. Woo] will coordinate this later so don't concern yourself with the specifics of food just yet.

In the meantime, please shoot [Mrs. Woo] an email if you're interested in joining us for the evening.  Her email address is ________ (I wonder if we'll ever get that changed).  Feel free to invite others if they're going to be in the area and please RSVP by Nov 21st (next Saturday).

P.S. Feel free to contact Hong and Tami, Daniel and Cassie, or JonTsai as well.  Their places are also open.

Two minutes later, a Gchat window opens up. It's Becca, saying:

hehe
your husband's email is funny

it's so clear that he got pretty excited about eating as he started listing the foods

they get more and more detailed

It's like she was in the other room when Mr. Woo said those exact words! He had just told me the same thing except he added that he was drooling.

Oh, Mr. Woo - how food brings thou much happiness...

Sometimes, you're enjoying it so much that you like you're in pain. Oh the joy! :)

What's your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Ice Breaker Contest Results

They asked for votes, we asked for your votes, and the results are in.

Mr. Woo's entry was one of the winners! WOOHOO! :)

Here's the e-mail that he forwarded to me:

Congratulations!
Congratulations! The votes from our Ice Breaker Contest have now been tallied and you're one of the lucky winners!

Dear Member:

We really appreciate your involvement in this contest. What a blessing to receive so many responses, and to see the interest in voting. Our goal was to create some excitement over the act of giving away Gospels of John and your entry helped accomplish that. People liked yours enough that it placed in the top 3 of category votes!

We'll be posting a web page shortly with all the details so you can see how your entry compared to others. But we wanted to let you know right now that you're one of the winners, with no further delay. We'll also be sending out a broadcast message to our members next week with additional information and listing the first names of the winners and their hometowns.

I'd like to know if your involvement in this contest helped to encourage you to share more boldly or more effectively. Just reply back to me with any thoughts you might have. I'd like to include some of these responses in our message to members, so please understand that these responses might be used in our member communication.

Also, we need to know what version you prefer for your Bible. You can choose from NIV, KJV or ESV. Just reply with your choice and provide a physical address for us to send to, and your phone number (in case you don't have one on file or it's out of date).

May God bless your sharing efforts, and thanks again for being involved.

"For I know your eagerness to help...

and your enthusiasm has stirred most of them to action."

- 2 Corinthians 9:2

The e-mail even came with an attachment to make it seem official:

Cute.


FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO VOTED

You are receiving this e-mail because you have voted in the Ice Breaker Contest!

Mr. Woo has chosen to receive a copy of the ESV Bible. As a token of appreciation to the participants, we would like to present to you your very own buttery new copy of the ESV Bible filled with weighty content. Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery of your prize. The holiday season is quite the busy one for this newlywed couple.

Thank you.

Won by a tad

In honor of Tadamus' birthday, I find it a very appropriate time to announce our winner of Poker Night #5!

Remember the contest I was going to hold? Here was the challenge: Crack open 3 pistachios that barely have a sliver of an opening. It all happened so fast that all I got was a picture of the end result:

Thanks to Tad, I could finally(!) eat those long-awaited 3 pistachios. Now, you might think I had an ulterior motive to the challenge, but I like to think of it as a win-win situation.

Here's what our friend won:

After a cornbread chili casserole, we started the game. (Note to self: Maybe we'll save the ultra lean meat for burgers instead of the chili...)

And again, Tad won. Here's his second prize, the wrapping courtesy of Mr. Woo:

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

 

Still waiting for it...

 

 "What is this???" (insert Mr. Woo's hysterical laughter)

Maybe it's the fact that our dear brother had played pranks on others in college, but it's just so funny to pull one on him. Too bad secretly putting bugs in his food is not going to phase him... Go ahead, ask him why not. :P

Moving on, here's his real prize:

 

Check out that dimple. It's a crater because he's so happy!

Okay, the night was not all about Tad, and I'm done embarrassing him. Let's introduce the other contestants who get an 'A' for effort. (Who made up that line because it's Effort, not Affort. Wait a minute... Is it "You get an 'A' for trying so hard" and not a trying-to-be-clever saying???)

Community turkey leg, community sunglasses - same difference. Come to think of it, JRitzi - why dost thou not join the passing of the shades?

So there it is folks. Another player in the Hall of Fame. Oh, and to keep y'all informed, there is talk about extending one more player into the Championship game.

The Woo Society's Hall of Fame:

1. Mrs. Woo
2. (J)onny/Mrs. Woo
3. Freddy
4. Mr. Woo
5. Tadamus
6. ???

(7. ???)
Champion: ???

Until next time,