Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Whistle While You Work

I don't know about you, but I had a rough day at work today. Well, I suppose it wasn't so bad compared to last Friday when a teacher came up to me to ask if so-and-so, who did something terribly wrong, was in my class... at each recess... all different teachers. On top of that we had Girl A in my class tell Girl B's sister to steal something from her Girl B's backpack to give to Girl A so that she can give it to Girl C in the other 3rd grade class to give to Girl D, also in the other class, so that when Girl B asks Girl A if she took it she can say, "No, Girl D stole it." Smart, but so wicked. (You can download the image as a wallpaper here)

Yeah, today I just had a lengthy list of names on the board and sent 2 students out of the classroom to "talk all [they] want out there." And Mr. Woo brought me a heaping plate of lunch. :) Even one of my students commented, "Mr. Woo must really love you to bring you that much food!"

But for those of you who work in an office and don't get enough spice at work (not all of us get to have Nurf Wars), I stumbled across some tips to make work more "fun." I don't endorse all of the following, but let me know how it goes if you try any out!

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom. (Do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights." (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss.)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

A Dozen More Ways to Shake Things Up
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Don't use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
12) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

You're going to sound/look so crazy...


Zinnia said...

haha! jane.....are you going to try any of those dares? =]

junia said...

i really don't think ANY of those would work... eVER.

let me know if anyone proves me wrong :-)

I said "I will" to Mr. Woo! said...

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

"i'm too ashamed to post this publicly, but my manager actually pointed out that my fly was open once"