A second grader's take on L&D

I came across this hilariously cute story on Facebook (you know, now that I'm somewhat up-to-date with technological advances). Brings back memories of teaching and birthing... Enjoy!

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher...

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
...
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife.. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this..' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Three cheers hooray, minus the ring, plus a belly

Three years ago today, Mr. Woo put a ring on my finger. (This is how we celebrated one year later.)

Today, I cannot wear the engagement ring because my fingers are swollen from my (nearly over!) pregnancy. But that hasn't affected our marriage one bit (just the glances I get with my enormous uterus and being called "Miss" more).

I've been rocked in this School of Sanctification time and time again, and I can only expect to get pummeled some more as we enroll in our next course of Parenthood 1001. It's scary and I'm nervous, but I'm so thankful to be able to walk into it hand in hand with my beloved Pooki. God's been incredibly faithful to me, and to our little growing family, through my worries, fears, but mainly tantrums this past year. We're not perfect (yet), but we've got each other to sharpen, encourage, and gaze with in the same direction. So I sit here on my yoga ball (best purchase in the third trimester!), 2 cm dilated and a happy wife. :)

Happy almost 3 years, Honey Bunny! I love you! :)

A sneak peek at Selah's Nursery

I've been "nesting" on/off since I quit work, but only now got around to washing her clothes. It was very important to me that she have something to wear when we come home. After the washer decided to stop working mid-way on my first attempt to free my little one's clothing of any yucky germs, my dear husband went fishing for every little bitty sock and shirt as my anxiety piled as high as the water.

This second surge of energy, or rather determination, must be because she's preparing for her big entrance too - a big chunk of my mucus plug came out tonight! I heard that it was thick and colored, but I'm now a believer of, "You'll just know." All that to say, I'm glad her room is now readily awaiting her. :)

Here's what our office/guestroom looked like before:

During the "renovation":

And a sneak peek at what is now the nursery:

Yes, I have changed the theme/colors many times, mainly from "Pigs & Strawberries" to "Blue, Green & White" to "Puppies" and finally settled at "Whatever makes Mommy happy." I figure a happy mom makes a happy baby, right?

More s'mores please

First trimester cravings: Cereal, Strawberries, Peanut butter

Second trimester cravings: Strawberries, Peanut butter, Watermelon

Third trimester cravings: Watermelon, Fresh fruit, Fresh fruit

(I'm definitely having a girl.) BUT sometimes I'm overcome with a sweet tooth that you might have noticed here among my list of things pregnancy surprises. My latest favorite is the S'mores Cupcake! Oh, the graham cracker crust plus half the chocolate cake topped with a marshmallow frosting...

This one's from Teacake Bakery (beats the others I've tasted), and they only offer it on Thursdays. The first time I tried to obtain one, they were sold out. You can imagine my disappointment, so dear Hubby brought me back on another Thursday so I could get my swollen hands on one. Nope, the wedding rings don't fit anymore.

Ferocious.

  

The baby registry that never went up

I had my share of "We have to buy that for Selah even though it costs $1000!" moments (for the record, we didn't succumb to the pressure). This vast realm of baby products is sometimes overwhelming as the money-hungry wolves lure you in as their fluffy, innocent dinner. They often use promising words and coaxing tactics to try and fill in the I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing-but-I'm-trying-here void. And sometimes their products are just so cute.

If I were to ever start a business I might try to tap into the baby world. It's similar and related to the wedding industry in that everything is overpriced and often unnecessary. Perhaps the reason why (especially first-time) parents purchase so many items is to provide entertainment for the child so that they can get some (much needed) rest opposed to the baby actually needing it.

So on to the top contenders that I've been suckered into! I have my baby registry as a saved draft on Gmail on an Excel spreadsheet consisting of categories, links, and prices at various vendors - started even before I was pregnant (I like to be prepared, okay?). Needless to say, I haven't had a chance to test any of the following items out, but here are some of the ones that I really want to like and am hoping my precious cargo will like too.


1. Bumgenius Elemental cloth diapers

I've spent many a days on Cottonbabies and other sites looking up reviews on these cloth diapers, and I'm buying it all. Cutting costs on our newest and biggest investment? Better for her sensitive tush? Less waste? Yes please! Plus, it's organic. So for now, I've purchased a few off of Ebay to try out once our pooping machine is a few months old and all the new-mom crazies have settled down (or at least that I've adjusted to).


2. Fisher-Price Whale of a Tub

The moment I saw this guy on Amazon that it was a must-have. Fisher-Price came out with an updated version that has a toy bar in the middle but I wanted to keep bath time simpler (aka easier for Mama) with no adjusting/fixing/pulling of any sorts. I was able to snag the last one at a Target store that was mixed in with the newer ones. A baby bath tub in the shape of a blue and green whale - so cute and still not over it. 


3. Babyletto Mercer 3-in-1 convertible crib

The next item that made the cut was this gorgeous crib. I like the clean lines, the contrast between the dark rich wood and classic white, and the bottom shelf for additional storage space. It has a non-toxic finish, is a brand that has never been recalled, and is not so tall that I'll have trouble getting the bean in and out. Though initially saved on Amazon, we ended up taking it off the hands of a family on Craigslist for a quarter of its original price, including mattress, a complete bedding set (which I sold), and mobile. Woo to the hoo!


4. Ergo baby carrier

Growing up, I had thought I'd use a Korean wrap called a podaegi to carry my future baby hands-free. My, how times change. This Ergo carrier we received as a gift (thank you, ladies!) in the cranberry color so that Mr. Woo can also use it too (we all know he's going to be a baby-hog). But if I were to get a second one down the line, I might snag the gray galaxy one OR the organic peaceful portofino from Petunia Picklebottom
(available for preorder now - it's so pretty!). It's a subtle kind of pretty that would match with just about anything I wear should I choose to actually try to look presentable while being sleep-deprived. 


5. (Deeply discounted) Baby clothes

Who doesn't like shopping for teeny, cutesy outfits for a wee one? (My husband, actually.) So if I came across fabulous deal, I'm talking mostly $0.50/$1.00/$2.00, for something that mesmerized my uterus, I bought it. Only a few! [We're a Gap (and J.Crew) family, mainly because Wifey likes Gap, and since Wifey does the shopping we're now a Gap family.] Of course, we've received so many clothes the past couple of months that I don't know if the nugget will be able to wear them all more than once (no more 0-3mos please).


6. Bumbleride Flite stroller

Isn't it pretty? This one actually didn't make it to my list until late in my second trimester. I had been eyeing the Bugaboo Cameleon with all its fancy-schmancy options but in the end could not justify spending $1k on something that we may not use as much as we think. So after much back and forth between the Bumbleride and a few other contenders, I chose the pretty seagrass-colored stroller. It helped that it was on clearance (new model came out earlier this summer) from another vendor to save some cash since I'm not one who likes to pay full retail price.


7. Shermag Glider with ottoman

This was our very first purchase we made with the bun in the oven in mind. We spotted it in great condition at a garage sale down the street so I sat in it to: (1) test it out and (2) claim it while Mr. Woo ran home to look up reviews on Amazon. There it retails over $400, but with some negotiating we took it home, actually Mr. Woo carried it all the way home (my hero!), for $50.


The last "big purchase" is still iffy because I'm in the process of hunting down a doula. I wasn't able to do so earlier with deadlines at school. Now that I'm (finally) at home and have the time to research and contact references, they're all booked, vacationing, or out of the country. :(


As you can see, much of what Baby needs (and what we want) has already been purchased which is why I never had to put up a registry. Between the two showers from school/work, we've been blessed with so much that I've actually had to exchange some for items of a greater priority. With just a few more items left, it seemed silly to create a registry online. We're just excited (and nervous and overwhelmed and scared and...) to meet our little girl face-to-face in about another month. Please continue praying for our growing family! :)
 

A Dachshund's belly

The pregnant life has been such an out-of-body experience, many moments which I'm helpless to alter.

You know when you're crossing the street and there's 7-6-5-4... seconds to go? I imagine I look something like a Dachshund (wiener dog) with my shorter legs rapidly pitter-pattering the pavement, working twice as much to travel the same distance as those I'm accompanied by, all while trying to make the light.

Source

See? From the front you can't tell what its torso looks like, but from the side you get the panoramic view. I'm carrying wide opposed to protruding more to the front, thus my surprise when I hear that I'm huge. When I look down from my angle I just don't see it all. But then I turn to the side in the mirror and am stunned to see the rest of what I'm transporting around.

So let's see how my belly bump has progressed since discovery, shall we?

At 3 months:

She the size of a grape, and I with a pooch.

At 5 months:

Babymoon to Hawaii!

At 6 months:

Fruit! Give me fruit!

At 7 months:

Nikki Yanofsky concert!

At 8 months:

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk!

And soon she'll pop out and that'll end the maiden voyage of my womb! :)

Note to self & Pooki:  Next time, we really need to document it better. Selah won't be receiving an "Inside Mommy's Tummy" photobook, but I do have a different project lined up for her once she's out and about!
 

15 Things I didn't know about pregnancy

Pregnancy has been a fascinating ride and I can't believe I'm already well into my third trimester! I was lying in bed one night when I realized that I have less than 6 weekends left alone with my Pooki before life takes a sharp turn. That's so soon that I can almost count it on the fingers of one hand! So before I lose any more of my memory, here's my candid, bare-all, not-for-the-squeamish, brief list of surprises I encountered in pregnancy thus far.

1. My (liberal) doctor lets me eat pretty much anything, including sushi.  
2. The kicking sometimes feels so low in my uterus that I think her leg is going to shoot out of my cervix.
3. How weird (but cool!) it is to see my belly moving with each somersault, jab, and kick.
4. "Sucking in" while trying to squeeze through a narrow space does squat.
5. Baby's hiccups are the repetitive movements that feel like a heartbeat.
   
6. The frequency of bloody gums and boogers.
7. Hair not shedding much (but I hear it'll make up for lost time post-baby).
8. Lower back cracks just from shifting my weight.
9. Tailbone pain.
10. Drooling during some nights.
11. Vivid and intense dreams of terrible happenings.
12. Internal organs feel squished up high and very uncomfortable. Where can/do they relocate to?
13. Belly button shrinkage, or at least it looks like it with the belly expanding.
14. Constipation (I've shed a few tears in the bathroom) and hemorrhoids. Bowel movements will no longer be taken for granted.
15. Sneezing and peeing are not always mutually exclusive.

Note: All pregnancies are different so, as a reminder, this list is particular to my experience. Yours and/or other hearsay may differ.


For a BONUS: What in the world is the clicking noise from inside my belly??? My Mama Bear fright immediately thought it was her little bones breaking from moving so much, but that doesn't make too much sense.


Oh, and I'm probably the only pregnant woman who doesn't particularly like pickles. Ice cream on the other hand...

Mr. Woo and his first diaper

Like most men, Mr. Woo has never changed a diaper before. To ensure that our baby girl was going to be alright with a novice daddy, I had him practice.

Supplies:

• Baby substitute
• Diaper
• Daddy

(We kept it simple for the first round.)

Mrs. Woo: Can you practice putting the diaper on?
Mr. Woo: Hah, can I put a diaper on. Wait, she needs a pillow.

[A minute later]

 

Mr. Woo: (proudly holding up his work) See? 

[He even checked to see if she needed another change. That's when I saw it...]

Mrs. Woo: ...ahaHAhAahHa! You put it on backward!

Mr. Woo: Huh? Why does it matter?
Mrs. Woo: Because it's backward!

Oh, the fun we're going to have. Don't worry, Selah. You'll be just fine. :)

Showers of love for Selah

A few weeks ago the school staff on our campus threw a surprise baby shower for me!

The potluck food was yummy, as always, but it was the gift basket that induced a squeal of glee out of me. It was darling with all sorts of goodies.

Then the last week of school my students and their parents threw me a surprise baby shower! It was so funny watching the Diaper Game (basically, there were six diapers each smeared with a different food product to resemble #1, #2, and #3). I did have to send one boy with a weak stomach to the bathroom. Maybe he ate too much pizza before the game? Macaroni and cheese was the most difficult to guess but I nailed Snickers, York Peppermint Patty, and green beans correctly (teacher brain quickly calculates 3 out of 6 correct to be an F).

I wish I had some pictures of the games, but alas I didn't have my camera at school. I probably don't want to think too much about the one where students were asked to predict the circumference of my growing waistline via length of string and then measured in inches anyway. One (charming) student guessed 29 inches while another (fill in with an adjective) student guessed 52 inches! Child, that would mean I'm nearly as round as I am tall...

Oh, what love is all around you, Baby! You're not even here yet, but you're taking up a lot of room at home with all your "stuff."

Thank you Miss Kim for the staff baby shower pictures!

A grate first Father's Day

Mr. Woo has been talking about buying a grill. My first response was, "How often are you going to really use it?" I figured it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing since there have been quite a few barbecues the past month or so, complete with friendly "King of the Grill" competition. But as I was baking one day, he was with me in the kitchen(!) making his own sliders from scratch!

Being thoroughly impressed by his eagerness, drive, and the taste (he even bought lean meat to make them healthier), I reconsidered his proposition (not that I have the final say in Casa Woo - I'm only VP). With Father's Day soon approaching, I decided to bake some grill-like goodies to commemorate this "first."

Serving kabobs, steak, and hot dogs.

Then I packed them for Mr. Woo to take to his teammates at work who have been trudging through training together (finals are next week!).

Get it? :P

Pooki, you're my favorite person in the whole world, and there's no one I'd rather enter this daunting task of parenting with than you! Now look next to the door to see you're real Father's Day gift. I'm expecting some mean burgers and kabobs and corn this summer. ;) Happy Father's Day weekend!

His dinner + Her movie + A song

Thursdays are our Date Nights (but we won't have it for much longer, right?). Mr. Woo had said he wanted to cook, but after school told me, "Actually let's eat out tonight. It's going to take me too long." This got me thinking to last week...

Last week we had Date Night in, and Mr. Woo offered to cook! I was in no way too proud to deny his heroic, adventurous attitude. We made a pit stop at the grocery store to pick up several items. Then, I was shooed out of the kitchen. During his journey in this dinner-making, I was tickled pink by some of the things that came out of his mouth...

• "I need to put on my chef clothes!"
• "Out of the kitchen. You're putting pressure on me!"
• "Do we have basil?" ("No, I only have oregano.") "What's that?"
• "What is this?"
• "What is this?"
• "What is this?"
• "Boo, I'll be eating with you, but I'll be serving you, okay?"
• Glass making full contact with other kitchen items + "Whoa!!!"
• "We charge for refills."

In the end I was able to put a wonderful "Antipasti" of Mixed Greens and Pear Salad with Terriyaki-glazed Salmon into my mouth. For the next course, he brought out the "Secondi" of Baked Salmon Nachos with Sunset Omelette Sampler.

He let me pick the movie for tonight (as usual) since the one he had wanted to watch was already checked out. Redbox had a promo code for $0.50 so we were able to use that to rent a chick flick to which Mr. Woo fell asleep snoring. The poor man was laboring in the kitchen with Google as his sous chef, going into the process without even knowing where many of the cooking utensils were. Let the man sleep!

In other wonderful news, Mr. Woo also decided after school that he is going to sing to Selah "all the time." You see, Husband's got it all planned out. He's going to play the guitar; we're going to sing duets - we being Selah and myself. He started tonight by very audibly singing at my tummy when I asked him to try and feel her kicks (I'm eager to share the joy with him). To our very pleasant surprise, she stomped on the walls of my uterus like she's hardly kicked before. Was this excitement? Anger? Out of tune? Regardless, it made me so gleeful. It's official, our Woo Two band has become Woo Three!
 

Babymoon - Day 6

Sadly, our babymoon came to the final day. But instead of putting a damper to our party, Mr. Woo made the last morning count too. We went to bed with the possibility of taking the long drive up around 3 A.M. to arrive at the top, find parking, and take pictures before the sun would come up. Our plan was: if we wake up, we're doing it.

We ended up going with Plan B. We slept in and took our time packing (and unloading all the gear we happily hauled around in the car from the condo). We took one last set of pictures at the beach, this time the one right across from the condo to say aloha.

Breakfast was at Kihei Caffe. Their banana macadamia french toast is a popular choice so I went with that. Mr. Woo opted for the fried rice with Portuguese sausage and egg. Each, including the cream cheese frosted cinnamon roll, was great.

All in all, it was a superb babymoon of a vacation which made me not want to leave. I was sad. But in case you didn't notice in the picture with the cinnamon roll, check out that baby bump! Maui made it official that I was showing - and not just looking like I had eaten a large meal (that picture was taken sans breakfast)!

While I laid low and didn't go picture-crazy, I do have some memories captured to remember the trip by. Mr. Woo took a hefty amount of pictures. He also had mosquito bites to bring home as souvenirs, all from the night of the luau, ten on his left arm alone. 

Another pick-me-up on the last day was discovering how much room we had on one of the planes back home (we did have a layover). When Mr. Woo was trying to check-in online a couple days back, we discovered that we wouldn't be sitting next to each other on the plane! So he called the airlines to try to sit Husband and Wifey together. He was told that our seats would be arranged when we arrived at the airport. In the end, we sat side-by-side, toward the front, and had loads of legroom. Score!

While boarding, we met another couple from our town which was pretty neat. We chatted for a while and ended up eating with them during the layover. To our surprise, the retired couple kindly picked up the tab. I hope we see them around.

With that, we were back home to the Bay Area. We would very much like to return to Maui with our future keiki (I was impressed by how they value the little ones). Should that be the case, we're already starting a to-do list.

• Make it to the crater before sunrise
• Find the shrimp taco truck

Of course, I wouldn't mind being repeat offenders to many of the activities that we did during our first stay as well.

Food for thought: The chocolate covered macademia nuts that many bring back as gifts from Hawaii are the same ones that we can find at Costco on the mainland. :P

Babymoon - Day 5

The three-hour time difference had me waking up around 5:00 A.M. (Hawaii time) which was a great feeling. Whenever I arise at home, I'll know that it's dawn somewhere in the world.

For our last full day in Maui we decided to keep low and just enjoy it without thinking about time frame and scheduling. It also gave my body a chance to catch up to normalcy before heading back on that plane. For the most part, we stayed in Kihei and drove to Lahina for a little while.

One thing that Mr. Woo insisted on crossing off the to-do list was trying Hawaii's double filet-o-fish sandwich from McDonalds. He was eyeing it when we tried the saimin noodles on Day 2.

Then we picked up some customized sushi for the Mister at Food Net (like Safeway) and a plate lunch for me from a restaurant in the same plaza. Because I'd been feeling a bit queasy, I grabbed a fizzy drink too.

For my dinner and Mr. Woo's snack we picked up food from Cuatro, a fusion restaurant. We found out the hard way that their highly-rated food is definitely meant to be eaten dine-in. The crab cakes were mediocre at best, and my lukewarm fish and veggies Classic-style wasn't hitting the spot. But apparently Mr. Woo had the winner. He devoured the spicy tuna nachos. They were nice enough to throw in a bag of chips though.

Our drive out to Lahaina was with one thing on our mind - Ululani's shave ice. It has fantastic reviews and wasn't too far out so it was a must for us. How they get it so powdery soft is beyond us, but we thoroughly enjoyed the treat. We even went back to get more syrup. I can't remember what flavors syrups or ice cream at the bottom, but I know for certain that it was very yummy.

On our way back to home base in Kihei we stopped at a rest area to watch our last sunset of the vacation. It was beautiful. And the sunset wasn't bad either. (Mr. Woo placed his camera on the edge of the car window to capture some pictures - very courageous of him.)

To end the evening we went to our reservation at the sushi house Koiso. This tiny mom-and-pop restaurant had my husband furrowing his brow, licking his lips, and snapping pictures like no other. He claims it melted in his mouth.

I wouldn't know because this was my meal:

Here's his:

I believe him when he says it's the best he's ever had. I'm just looking forward to coming back one day to say the same. Bossman should know that though I put him/her through a lot, I also sacrificed omakase.

Remember how we didn't quite make it to the crater? For our next day, we were thinking about trying it super early in the morning to see the sunrise above the clouds. If so, the time zone would be on our side. Stay tuned to see our last day on the island!